Meaning and Authenticity

View from our front porch... Vacation was wonderful. Very relaxing....the condo turned out to be everything (and more) that we'd hoped. When David and I first saw it and walked up to the front door, we were both a bit stunned by the beauty of the setting. It was perfect. We did little touristy things near Eureka Springs in the mornings. Afternoons and evenings were spent reading and relaxing together. David is a fabulous cook--we didn't eat in a restaurant a single time. Sat out on the front porch watching the lake, the birds, keeping an eye out for deer and other wildlife, listening to the wind and the silence. Ahhhhh! Here are a few more pics: David on the trail... I don't know what these are...any ideas? They looked like blueberries... I'm hamming it up at the top of our HIKE near Beaver Lake Dam. This is Blue Springs (in Heritage Park...really lovely) And the best part of all? I still don't have to go back to work until Sunday! A whole week (well, most of i...

I'm home! We drove straight through. Twelve hours from Pensacola. The girls slept a good portion of the way in the back seat. I relieved D as driver for about an hour, but then found my eyelids closing of their own accord. The rest of the time I played FreeCell on my computer. Over 80 games I played. Yup. That was Saturday. Sunday I drove into church, thinking how eager I was to be there. After church it was back home to meet a couple of friends. The three of us drove to San Antonio where we stayed until Wednesday this week -- Yes, I've had my share of being in the car for a while! Vacation was a dream--I'll post some pictures below. And so was San Antonio, where I participated in the reunion of my Courage to Lead group. "Oasis in the Desert through a Circle of Trust" was the theme. Think about it: How often to we get to be part of a group of people who are all there in order to provide a safe place for the soul to show up? Parker Palmer likens the soul to a wild ...

I came home today, from a very long day at the church, and sat down with David to watc h Episode Four of John Adams. He and I were both struck by how John addressed Abigail in his letters to her as "dear friend" -- this, during a separation of five long years. She was left at home, raising the children and keeping the farm going, while he was in Europe -- France and the Netherlands -- trying to help the American cause. David's remark was about the mutuality in their relationship shown by that term of endearment. Both David and I saw ourselves, and each other, in John and Abigail Adams. We both laughed out loud at John's responses to various things, laughing at the recognition of their similarity to David's responses at times. Same with me. I apparently share some similar outlooks on life as Abigail. When it was over, I wondered aloud whether Paul Giamatti bore any resemblance to the real John Adams. At that, my husband, the historian par excellence, pulled the Dav...

David and I and the girls are going to Pensacola soon. (Young Man with Integrity will be here every day to look after the cat for us, bless his heart.) Oh, I'm so ready for a change of scenery. I guess it will be hot in Florida, but I look forward to some ocean breezes, at least. And maybe some evening walks on the beach. My friend, Seeker Executive, has a rental condo right there on Pensacola beach. Actually, it's her father's, and they are giving us a week there for free. Talk about GENEROUS! Thank you, Seeker Executive! (and I miss seeing you!) My arm is hurting more yesterday and today than it has previously. Go figure. It just really aches, and when I rotate it there's a sharp pain still. Bummer. Nevertheless, I'm busy, busy. The church I serve has no Christian Education at all during the summer, so I've come up with some extra projects for myself. In June I started the Evening Prayer (Taize style) service on Tuesday nights and that's been...

A word from The Art of Pastoring this cold Sunday morning : Your role as a pastor and your congregation's life as a church will both come to an end. Only the Word is without end. Therefore be aware of the temporary and never give it too much importance. If people gave less attention to the multitude of things temporary, and more attention to the One thing permament, there would be room in their hearts for the writing of the Word and there would be no more need to teach for all would know. (Author's observations: Whatever you are worried about right now, whatever is distracting you from the Word ~ it is temporary. Relax. And be free to love.)

And here's another one I've always liked. (Scanners are TOO fun!) This is the Temple of Poseidon, Crete. This was taken back in the mid 70's during my very first trip out of the state of Texas. Okay, okay...one more before I call it a night! This is photo of the little town of Weisen in Switzerland. I went with some friends, but decided to spend a couple of days by myself in this little village while they stayed in Zurich.

This is Hong Kong. I took the photo in the late 80's from the balcony of my friend Amy's high-rise apartment. I've always loved this ...

Well, we're home. I've posted some pictures to my first post about the vacation below. Wonderful vacation, still it's nice to be home and in surroundings I love. We stopped in Sherman, only a couple of hours from here last night, just to extend our time away from home--one of those spontaneous, kind of playful decisions. We've had very good luck staying at Hampton Inns when we travel, and last night was no exception. This morning we stopped at the house in Denison where Pres. Dwight Eisenhower was born. Bought the tickets, took the tour--the whole thing. On the tour with us were a woman in her 70's from Pennsylvania and her daughter. Just the four of us on this tour. Very nice. When the tour ended, we said our polite goodbyes and D and I headed home. After about 90 minutes in the car we stopped at Cracker Barrel for lunch. For the first time all week our conversation turned to work issues, thinking of the upcoming week. The bill came, we paid and headed out the door...

Arkansas is VERY pretty, just as I remembered . We stayed one night in Hot Springs but didn't really see much of the town, electing instead to drive on here to Eureka Springs--all told, it's taken us about 12 hours of driving. (The back roads we're taking aren't busy at all, and we're stopping at places called "Alom Cove" just to see what it looks like!) Eureka Springs is different than I imagined. The B&B, pictured below, didn't have directions on its website, so D looked at a Google map Monday night and memorized it (the man is amazing). We drove into Eureka Springs, with me at the wheel, and were greeted with narrow streets very much like those I've driven in Europe. With my automated speaking MAP sitting beside me, I was directed to "turn left here," which led us UP a series of teeny, tiny roads--U p, Up, Up the mountain w e drove, hoping we would not meet another vehicle coming down! "Turn here," he tells me, then ...

Oh, it's been too long since I've posted. Thanks, Jan, for the "I miss you" -- same here, my friend. The Courage to Lead retreat was wonderful. They have a good program, and Cindy Johnson and Estrus Tucker are excellent facilitators. I'm taking all my books and my journal with me on vacation (which starts tomorrow! yes!), and I'm going to read through everything and do some processing. Wow, I finally have some real time in front of me to just process what I want. Oh, I'm grateful. All summer I tried to use any extra time to work on the lecture (the 200 minute one)--glad that's done. Home from Courage on Thursday, but Friday and this weekend were spent working on our concert series and the additional worship service I do at church. Now, finally, I have some glorious free time in front of me. D and I leave tomorrow morning for a driving trip through Arkansas. I hope the leaves are turning--it's a pretty state, I've been there before, but ...

Many many thanks for your prayers... Let me give my heart some space here...More from "The Art of Pastoring--Contemporary Reflections" by William C. Martin: Thought 15--Qualities The qualities of a pastor are impossible to describe. We can only see them in action. No noise or clamor, but a careful manner of moving through the daily parish activities; clear eyes steadily seeing to the heart; kindness and humility in the presence of others, needing to defend nothing, prove nothing -- therefore able to respond with the sureness of the flowing river. Hiding nothing, therefore able to speak truthfully with ease. Can you do this? Can you wait patiently until all the voices that clamor for action settle down? Can you resist the temptation to do what the parish seems so desperately to want you to do until the Spirit of God reveals naturally and gently the next step, and events unfold as they should without pushing or shoving? The pastor does not seek success. She does not see people ...

Part of the stress I feel is coming from not being the "perfect" pastor. William Martin's The Art of Pastoring: Contemplative Reflections helps me remember that it's authenticity I seek, not perfection. Mistakes are part of being human. Thought 10--Abilities "A minister of the Word has certain abilities: the ability to gently return a noisy mind to a quiet place of communion with God; the ability to release tension from the body and to remain supple and relaxed; the ability to cleanse the soul of accumulated negativity so the pure light of God is undimmed; the ability to lead the people in the parish without needing them to behave as you see fit; the ability to let even the most important events unfold without worrying or tampering with the process; the ability to detach from your own plans for the church and see the grace of God unfold in a gentle way. And if you are truly among the wisest of pastors you create a safe place for your people's creativity; you ...

I've allowed myself to feel some stress regarding the church I serve. Today I picked up a book that my sister gave me when I was in seminary, The Art of Pastoring: Contemplative Reflections. The author, a pastor himself, took the 81 chapters of the Tao Te Ching and "translates the essence of each thought into a message for the Western pastor." Thought 73--Future "Anxiousness about the future destroys the life of a congregation. Out of this anxiousness the pastor and people try to control events. This is a tremendous waste of energy, and drains the people of spiritual power. Events are always changing and nothing can be grasped. If a pastor can free herself and her people from the fear of death, there is nothing they cannot achieve." "(Do congregations die? Of course they do. They have birthdays and go through stages of growth. They search for meaning and struggle against fear. They eventually die. Realizing this can be a wonderfully freeing insight for a f...

I've spent my last day of vacation doing some wonderful things. Reading blogs, for instance. Jan and Gannet Girl are writing about their spiritual journeys. It's fascinating to be invited into these narratives where we can witness God working, weaving delicate spiritual threads whose design can perhaps only be seen much later in life. I also had lunch with Genuine Beautiful Drummer Girl. Always a joy. Then we went shopping at the mall and Target. D's on a business trip for a couple of days; I miss him already. Gosh, I love being married! Work promises to be busy, and all three kids are here, so that will help, I'm sure.

Another reason for our vacation is so that we can meet my sister and her family (who live in South Carolina) in Atlanta. It's a short visit over lunch, but at least I get to see them and hug them and tell them I love them in person. Unfortunately my niece was sick and my nephew was working, so they couldn't join us. We were all VERY--in the extreme--disappointed at that. My brother-in-law Booming Bass looks great. He's had heart problems for several years, so it's wonderful to see him looking so good! I said something about struggling so much this year with respiratory problems and how that reminded me of my (and my sister's) mother, who died of respiratory failure, and Booming Bass was very kind to remind me of something important. He talked about how his own father had died of a heart attack at age 42, which was a fact we all had on our minds years ago when Booming Bass' heart problems all began. "We're all different people, Katy," he said. We...

Giving birth has always been a powerful metaphor for me. Not that I relate it to physical pregnancy, but since I started awakening, 20 years ago now, in my early thirties, I could feel the creative element in life moving within me, making me something new. I'm listening to Jennifer Berezan's CD, "Returning." She chants throughout: returning, returning, returning to the Mother of us all... This music is haunting, smoky, with rhythms that sink to the beginning of time itself. She recorded the music is a subterranean temple/tomb used by the Neolithic people of Malta. The 3-level labyrinth has 33 chambers, stairs, passageways, all carved out of the limestone with flint and antler tools. Some of the chambers, 5.25 meters beneath the surface, are egg shaped. Maybe now you can begin to imagine the haunting quality of this elegant sound. Our local public radio station aired an interview yesterday with a scientist who is using DNA markers to track human populations movements ...