Meaning and Authenticity

It's 6:15 a.m. I'm the only one up, ostensibly to prepare for church this morning, but there's actually not much I can do here at home. I'm already showered and ready to go; I'll just leave a little early and have plenty of time to do what I need to do before services. I love it when the house is quiet like this and I'm the only one awake. Especially when the house is full, like it is now. My inlaws are asleep in Lovely Passionate Feminist's room. LPF is upstairs in the loft, taking Beautiful Genuine Musician's bed (BGM had to work in City to the South most of this weekend), D is sound asleep in our room, and Hobbes, who awoke and meowed loudly when I went into the kitchen, has settled back down, thank goodness. Yesterday afternoon, D brought the Christmas tree down from the attic, and my MIL began the tedious task of opening up all the squished branches. She did a great job. We have about 10 boxes of Christmas decorations, so I tackled those. As I opene...

It's been a great Thanksgiving Holiday. My inlaws are here so we spent the day at my husband's cousin's house with a big gathering of 18 people. The cousin's house is HUGE, so we also spent the day in luxurious surroundings. Oh my. Yesterday I stayed home to work a bit while everyone else drove Beautiful Genuine Musician back to City to the South and then visited with my FIL's sister in a nearby county. I did join them for a late lunch, though, and then did a little shopping. I've decided to workout twice a week with a personal trainer, so I needed some clothes appropriate for that. Today should be a nice, relaxing day. I hope to get the Christmas Tree up. Here are some recent pics. This is J and Young Man with Integrity from Thanksgiving Day. And little M, also from Thanksgiving Day. This is my friend LifeGiving One's little 3-year old, Julia, who had a "sleepover at KK's" so her mom and dad could have some alone time together. And here is Lo...

I loved this paragraph from James Finley's Christian Meditation: When Jesus sat around the fire at night with the disciples, talking about this and that, he no doubt at times simply listened to them talking among themselves. As he stirred the fire with a stick, he perhaps saw a single spark fleetingly fly upward into the night. Later, lying there, listening to their breathing as they slept, he heard in their breathing the love he knew himself to be. It is like that sometimes with us. In meditation, in daily life, we realize that we and everyone else in the world, and everything in it, are manifesting the love our very life embodies. In this realization, we enter the mind of Christ without going anywhere. We simply awaken to who we have always been from before the origins of the universe.

I've not been comfortable with my posts recently--the ones about politics, the election, and the actions of our local Episcopal Diocese, I mean. I wrote and posted them out of true passion for justice--I feel so deeply about the importance of mutuality, the dignity of each human life, people on the margins of society, etc. Of course I still feel that way. My posts are authentically me. But as I posted each of them, I did have a whisp of discomfort, a whisp that I conveniently and easily repressed. That discomfort grew until Thursday when I had lunch with The Author. We were talking about the election, and because I feel so safe with her, I actually said, "I don't understand it. I don't understand how spiritually mature people can be so conservative in their politics." The Author is a very kind person. Each time I said something like that she remarked how she tries to see both sides of every position. I finally said, "I guess I'm being kind of arrogant abo...

OK. Here they are. I told my friend The Artist that I'd post these. They are my very first attempt at watercolor painting! The Artist graciously gave me a lesson a couple of days ago--I'd always wondered how watercolorists did it, and now I have at least a tiny idea.... And I had a great time...

Jan at Yearning for God graciously honored me with the Superior Scribbler Award . Thank you, Jan! Your blog is at the top of my list of favorites! Here's how this thing works: *Each Superior Scribbler must in turn pass The Award on to 5 most-deserving Bloggy Friends. *Each Superior Scribbler must link to the author & the name of the blog from whom he/she has received The Award. *Each Superior Scribbler must display The Award on his/her blog, and link to this Post , which explains The Award. *Each Blogger who wins The Superior Scribbler Award must visit this post and add his/her name to the Mr. Linky List. That way, we'll be able to keep up-to-date on everyone who receives This Prestigious Honor! *Each Superior Scribbler must post these rules on his/her blog. Like Jan, I choose ALL on my blog list on the left, but specifically honor these five: Against a Brick Wall . This is Linda who first introduced me to blogging. Her writing is ALWAYS compelling. Often her posts just lea...

I'm reading James Finley's Christian Meditation. Do you know it? Wow. It's been a long time since I've underlined something on every page of a book. I even copied one paragraph and laminated it, and it's now nearby when I meditate in the morning: **We sit in meditation so that the last traces of our tendency to identify with egocentric consciousness might finally dissolve as our habitual base of operations. **We meditate that we might continue thinking, but no longer live by thought and all that thought can comprehend. **We meditate that we might continue remembering, but no longer be limited to memory or all that can be remembered. **We sit that we might continue willing, but no longer be limited to our own will or what our will is capable of attaining. **We sit that we might continue feeling, but no longer be limited to our feelings or all that can be felt. **We sit that we might continue being our bodily self as long as our life on this earth shall last, but no l...

The Diocese of the Episcopal Church in my area had a big meeting this weekend. 80% of those attending voted to leave The Episcopal Church. They apparently believe that because TEC has a woman Presiding Bishop (Katharine Jefferts Schori) and a gay Bishop (Gene Robinson), it no longer respects or honors scripture and tradition. In their minds, apparently, the Church has moved so far to the dark side that this Diocese can no longer be associated with it. This both saddens and angers me. Is it moving to the dark side to welcome others (other-than-heterosexual-males) to the full life of the church, including its leadership? Is it moving to the dark side to think that God IS STILL SPEAKING? I say, in fact, that this Diocese is not in a very light place when it remains blind to its own homophobia and sexism. Blind to the all-embracing love of God, a God who calls each person to flourish and become the person God intends---which just might include church leadership. ( Really, the arrogance gal...

Amnesty International is challenging President-elect Obama (oh, it feels good to type that!) to CLOSE GUANTANAMO! And I agree. This is from the AI website: Talk of change is good. Concrete action is better. Amnesty International is calling on President-elect Barack Obama to take concrete steps in his first 100 days in office to put human rights at the center of the new government. The new president will have the opportunity to rectify some of the unlawful policies and practices carried out in the name of national security. We are calling on the new administ ration to: * announce a plan and date to close Guantanamo * issue an executive order to ban torture * ensure that an independent commission to investigate abuses committed by the U.S. government in its "war on terror" is set up. Taking these steps would send a clear message to the rest of the world that, once again, the U.S. will be a leader for human rights.

We have a new addition to our household -- a piano! We paid to have Beautiful Genuine Musician's piano moved up here to our house from City to the South, so that she (and others!) can play it when she's up here visiting. Yesterday Lovely Passionate Feminist was here. She and I went to Barnes and Noble, and she bought a songbook for the piano with some lovely songs in it: Danny Boy, Santa Lucia, Finlandia. It was so peaceful listening to her play yesterday. She has a very light touch. (And she's not even the music major!) Young Man with Integrity's girlfriend J is also a musician. They were here for dinner last night, after which she played a piece that she learned years ago--very different with some beautiful but also dissonant chords throughout. We all loved it. And then of course there was little 2 y.o. M, who ALSO played...she played the music of 2 year olds everywhere. And we loved that as well! (for the most part) :-) And strangely enough, even I was able to play o...

Thanks, Purple . Yes, I'm feeling better. Took until Thursday mid-day, but that Z-pac of antibiotics has done the trick! I worked all day yesterday (a wonderful experience!), and then D and I drove way north to visit some friends who have moved. The drive included a very interesting conversation (see post below). Took about an hour and 15 minutes, so we got there, had a wonderful Korean dinner, great conversation, D had another losing game of chess with one of their boys, and then we left. Our host arrives at his work at 5:00 a.m. everyday, including Saturday, so we didn't want to linger. Plus, D and I were both tired. But oh my goodness, it was good to see these friends. They are exceptional people, I think. Both are kind (the kindness that arises from the heart), deeply interesting (deep thinkers and feelers), generous, and, I think, well integrated. D and I always come away from a visit with them feeling good. Anyway, that was my first day of feeling better, and it was long...

I grew up during Watergate and Nixon and Vietnam -- I became politcally aware during those years. Spent hours in front of the television watching the Watergate hearings, even ordering a copy of the proceedings. I was outraged at our President's behavior. I didn't know anyone personally who went to Vietnam. But I have a memory of my senior year in high school, listening to a broadcast of the final pullout of American troops, and feeling such relief. I was outraged about our behavior in the world. All that to say that I have never felt particularly patriotic. In fact, I've been wary of patriotism because it can slide into nationalism which I think is evil. I've prided myself on being a critical thinker when it comes to my country. But last night, as D and I were driving to visit some friends (see post above), I found myself asking my husband what he thought it meant to be an Amerian. He said that being American is choosing to live in compact with others who believe in the...

I started this blog in the spring of 2007 when I was home sick with bronchitis, then pneumonia, then asthma, then bronchitis again. I had a terrible spring! But one good thing that came from that "sick" time was learning about blogging from my friend Linda . Through her example, I thought I'd give it a try and consequently something very good (new friends) emerged from a not-so-good time in my life. I've been free from serious problems since then, more than a year, but I think I have bronchitis again today. Fortunately my doctor has an opening later this morning, so we'll see. I don't know exactly why being sick upsets me the way it does. Maybe because my mother died of lung problems. Maybe because it interferes with my commitments. Maybe because I think sickness is a sign that I'm not where I should be spiritually--(I do think the mind/spirit-body link is powerful, but on the other hand, it's not the only thing that affects the body.) Maybe because i...

John O'Donohue speaks my truth once again-- "Once you start to awaken, no one can ever claim you again for the old patterns. Now you realise how precious your time here is. You are no longer willing to squander your essence on undertakings that do not nourish your true self; your patience grows thin with tired talk and dead language. You see through the rosters of expectation which promise you safety and the confirmation of your outer identity. Now you are impatient for growth, willing to put yourself in the way of change. You want your work to become an expression of your gift. You want your relationship to voyage beyond the pallid frontiers to where the danger of transformation dwells. You want your God to be wild and to call you to where your destiny awaits." You can find this quote here: www.jodonohue.com

Barack Obama, the next President of the United States of America! Wow. I say again, WOW .

Gracious God, Thank you for this day, this important day. Thank you for your love and grace and freedom. I am grateful, O God, that I live in a place on Earth where I may freely vote and express my opinion in that way. I am grateful for journalists and bloggers and writers and great thinkers who may freely express their opinions. Freedom like this is precious, and I do not want to ever take it for granted. Whatever the outcome, give us--give me --the spiritual maturity to remember that all our hope ultimately lies in you. When the outcome becomes clear later on today (or tomorrow), help me, O God, to thank you and to acknowledge that you are present, in the here and now, and that all shall be well, all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well. I pray that our nation-state may know its place in this world ~ that we are one among many, and that whatever leadership role we may have carries within it an attitude of servanthood, for otherwise it is a kind of tyranny and not tru...