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Showing posts from March, 2007

Authenticity

I said to my Zen teacher, "I have some issues going on that I know are related to trust. Can you help me?" As we sat on our mats, facing each other in formal Zen style, he said, "Ah, yes, Katherine. Today is April 16. On May 16, you die. Knowing that, what will you say and do and think and be in the time you have remaining on this earth?" I thanked him and did my little Zen bow, walked out of the room, and just about hyperventilated. I had granted a good measure of authority to my teacher, and his question took on the force of reality. One month to live. The pivot-point of my life, this moment evoked the courage I needed to leave my job with a major oil company and begin a new life. The business world had never held any meaning for me. I'd been trying to make it fit who I was, but part of me knew it was more my mother's desire for me than my own. I stayed for fourteen years because I was afraid. I was single and in my head were my mother's dire warnings