I'm in one of those I-want-to-look-at-my-life moods. Know what I mean? They come at the end of a big job, when I can breathe and broaden my focus again.
1. One thing I know I need to do is find some way to focus on grieving Andy's death. Yesterday I came across his name on something and I found myself nearly bent over in pain; for a few moments I could barely breathe. Of course, I came across his name on things constantly in the last month when I was preparing for and teaching my class, but that was different--I was using what he'd taught me. Now I don't have that psychic "protection." The tears threaten to spill over even now.
2. I have to make-up the time I missed from work in preparing the class, so I'll be working on Thursdays this Fall. I've been in a discernment process regarding whether to enroll in Hearthpaths training for the Ignatian Exercises--it would mean every Friday morning from September through May, plus a lot of hours throughout the week. I need that discipline, but I also find myself thinking/feeling that I might 'need' that Friday morning for myself...just me here at home...since my Thursdays will now be 'taken.' Hmmm, I guess I'm wanting to guard my free time.
3. Free time...to read. I want to read "Wolf Totem"--David was ga-ga over this book; it sounds fabulous. Katie gave me a couple of books to read that I haven't had time to even look at. "How God Changes Your Brain"--I recommended this book to my friend C, and she's finished it, while I haven't really begun! The list is endless. "Eat, Pray, Love" -- I noticed the movie opens soon and I've wanted to read the book for ages.
4. Free time...to garden. My back won't allow me to really garden, but I want to investigate this Tabletop Gardening as an alternative. Maybe this Fall.
5. Learning to eat mindfully. I've started this, but the last couple of weeks I really let it drop. My meals were whatever was convenient.
6. Free time...to write. Weavings invited me to submit some articles this year, but my time was spent in teaching. I'd love to designate Fridays just to writing, and especially for Weavings.
7. Can one learn to like exercising? "Joyful Movement" is the key, isn't it? I do like to walk with my friend Pam--at the mall, of course. It's too damnhot otherwise until October. What else might be "Joyful Movement" for me? Hmmm, dance lessons. Riding my bike (when it gets cooler). I wonder if I'd use a Wii -- they look kinda fun. InterPlay, for sure; I need to find a group.
8. Prioritizing Centering Prayer in my life. I'm meeting with a group of wonderful friends each Wednesday, but I'd like to have a group meet at my church as well on another day of the week. Since reading Centering Prayer and the Inner Life, I find myself really drawn to this spiritual discipline.
Well, we shall see...