Thursday, March 11, 2010

Jan, I hear you

Jan, I hear you. Thanks for wanting me to "come back" (I'm smiling at that!).

Well, a little catch-up:

My absence has been because I'm so busy. Ugh. Yes, BUSY. Writing that feels kinda like a joke. I received an email yesterday from someone saying he appreciated what I wrote about Eckhart Tolle -- didn't say what exactly, but it was probably what I wrote concerning Tolle's definition of stress being simply "wishing I was not here, wishing I was finished, or wishing ...whatever."

Sheesh! Have I been letting myself feel stressed? Yep. Have I been living in the present moment? Nope. Not much. I've been concerned about keeping up with my class on Grief and Loss, the class that I'm teaching at the seminary. --The class that's been 'eating my lunch,' in the sense of finding the time to teach it with integrity, providing the students with information but also imparting what I really have to give them, i.e., my own learning about the art of pastoral caregiving. It's hard. I'm just not sure I know how to teach that very well. I'm making rookie mistakes, that's for sure.

And, of course, my little perfectionistic ego hates that! Well, I guess it's some progress that I'm not beating myself up about it. Not today, anyway. Today, in fact, I feel rather free from that kind of self-flagellation.

That's probably because I was so moved by the presentation made in my class today. I had two guest lecturers who spoke about providing care in the form of suicide-survivor groups to the community. Oh, it was powerful. I was literally in tears a couple of times listening to them. I guess I touched something holy today through their words, their healing presence. And it energized me.

Then D and I went out for dinner and had a great time. He's taking some students from his university to a Habitat for Humanity project in another state over spring break. I'll miss him!

Tomorrow our granddaughter is coming for a sleepover at Bubba and KK's! (She has 3 sets of grandparents, so that's what we told her to call us. Believe me, we smile when she skips in yelling our special names!) We're also going to celebrate Young Man with Integrity's birthday tomorrow and Deep One, Lovely Passionate Feminist and Beautiful Genuine Musician are coming as well. Really looking forward to this family time. (And I definitely need to update my names for them--but that's for another day.)

Jan, I love you!~ Thanks for missing me, my friend. I promise to do better, so check back often, OK?

1 comment:

Robin said...

I hope you will share a little more about the presentations.