Many many thanks for your prayers...
Let me give my heart some space here...More from "The Art of Pastoring--Contemporary Reflections" by William C. Martin:
The qualities of a pastor are impossible to describe.
We can only see them in action.
No noise or clamor, but a careful manner of moving
through the daily parish activities;
clear eyes steadily seeing to the heart;
kindness and humility in the presence of others,
needing to defend nothing, prove nothing --
therefore able to respond
with the sureness of the flowing river.
therefore able to speak truthfully with ease.
Can you do this?
Can you wait patiently
until all the voices that clamor for action settle down?
Can you resist the temptation
to do what the parish seems so desperately
to want you to do
until the Spirit of God reveals
naturally and gently the next step,
and events unfold as they should
without pushing or shoving?
The pastor does not seek success.
She does not see people as tokens to be collected.
Since she does not seek these things,
she is available at the level of the soul to all who seek.
A confident pastor is not one who knows
what a congregation should do.
A confident pastor is one who knows
that she does not know.
Her confidence comes from being healed
of the need to know.
Having been healed, she brings wholeness
to the congregation.
And the knowledge of what to do