Saturday, May 26, 2007

Gratitude for the years

As I write, D and Lovely Passionate Feminist stepdaughter are driving to Waco; they probably won't be home until 11 pm or so. But Young Man with Integrity stepson is here. As I write from my sick-bed, I can hear the low-rumblings from the television in the living room.

I find it's not so bad being sick now that I no longer live alone.

Getting married has brought so much joy to my life. The joy of feeling cared for when I'm sick. The joy of nearly-always having someone to go to dinner with. The joy of touch and intimacy. The joy of D's three children who are now in my life, enriching it beyond measure. The joy of being deeply known. The joy of working through who I am, and am becoming, as a married person.

Yet I am also grateful for having been single for so long (until I was 48, three years ago now). It was time and space to begin to know myself, and to like and even love myself. Loneliness motivated me to seek out good friends--so many wonderful friends who have nourished my soul , taught me generosity, and led me to love what is Divine. With the loss of both parents, the increase in loneliness that threatened was mitigated by coming to better know and love my siblings and their families. The time I spent alone with myself was time in which I came to know God, or at least something of God.

Yes, I am grateful for those years as well.

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